Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Why Stay When You Can Leave?



               Imagine if I punch you in the face and it hurts you too much. Chances are, you might fight me back or the next time you see me, you'll just stay away from me, right? This made me wonder. Why do some people in an abusive relationship still stay in it when in fact, they can just leave it? don't think anyone deserves to be treated in a bad way. But how do the abused people see their selves in that kind of relationship?



         According to an article entitled " Why do people stay in abusive relationships?" in www.loveisrespect.org, there are many reasons why both men and women stay in abusive relationships. These are the following: 


            First, is conflicting emotions. These are composed of fears, believing abuse is normal, fear of being outed, low self-esteem, and love. Second, is pressure. Under this are peer pressure, cultural reasons, and pregnancy/parenting. Next, is distrust of adults or authority. This comprises of the "puppy love phenomena", distrust of police, and language barriers. Lastly, is the reliance on the abused partner. This idea includes lack of money, disability, and no where to go.

             
         Another article entitled "Romance Redux" by Craig Malkin, Ph.D.,stated:

"They don't stay for the pain. They're desperate, often palpable hope, if you sit in a room with them, is that the abuse will go away. And they tend to block out all evidence to the contrary. In point of fact, they stay for love. Many abuse survivors cling to the positive traits in their partners--like being affectionate and reliable."
       

         As we can see, love isn't the only reason why some people stay in the abusive relationship. Many factors also affect it. Then, I realized that in every decision, you really can't have the best of both worlds; if you leave the relationship, you will be free but it would still hurt you. 

No comments:

Post a Comment